Fear almost killed me

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Fear is a debilitating condition that causes death, especially in our spiritual lives. It kills you, from the inside out.

There is a mass murderer on the loose in this world, and its name is FEAR.

I never realized I was dying.

I didn’t recognize that fear was killing me until it was almost too late. I was full of fear. I feared being a failure. I feared being rejected. And so on and so on…

I grew up in a family of believers and attending church. I was a shy cheerleader in high school, half introvert and half extrovert.

I felt confident and loved at home. I went to school feeling accepted and cared for by my friends.

The place I felt the most fear and the most alone was at church. I was afraid of being judged, unloved, and not accepted.  Church should be the one place we should be free to be who we are, yet I was a prisoner to my fear when I stepped into that building. I would walk in on a youth night. Instead of singing in worship, I would mouth the words, afraid of anyone hearing my voice and judging it. I would cower away from intimate conversations afraid someone might see who I really was and not accept me. I️ blamed the church for a long time, but the church is not what killed my spirit. It was my fear that was taking over my life.

Fear doesn’t come from God and can separate us from who he has created us to be. He didn’t give us a spirit of fear as it says in 2 Timothy 1:7 but of power, love and self discipline.

When I feel unloved it isn’t because I am unloved but because I have killed that spirit with fear of rejection. I was made to feel Gods love.

What fear is killing you today? What is paralyzing or controlling you because of your fear?

God I ask that you help us to recognize fear and embrace the spirit of power, love and self control.